More on modifiers
Weak verbs often lead to modifier misplacement. When I mentioned above that strong verbs seem more natural, I was, I am sorry to report, saying something that I can little prove. But I will hazard one kind of proof.
Here's a perfectly normal sentence:
After reviewing the report, the committee made its decision.
Here's a weaker way of saying it:
After reviewing the report, a decision was made.
Or another good example:
Last year, X-Department quickly instituted a change that saved $32,000.00.
And its poor rewrite:
A change was quickly instituted last year by X-Department that saved $32,000.00.
For both examples the second way of doing the sentence has misplaced modifiers, the first being a dangling participle, the second being a misplaced "that" clause. Notice that the modifiers are misplaced in the examples with the passive-voice verbs, "was made" and "was instituted." That such misplaced modifiers are usually associated with weak verbs implies to me that writers are thinking of the sentences in the active voice, but for some reason switching the sentences to the passive without making necessary changes in modifier placement. If this is so, I can begin to build an argument that the more powerful, the active-voice, verbs come more immediately to mind and are, thus, more "natural." Even if I cannot prove that the more powerful verbs are more natural, I can prove that modifiers more easily fall into correct placement with the powerful verbs and that if modifiers are better placed, sentences seem to move more quickly, as if the writer were more confident.
Readers can quickly follow our ideas only when we clarify relationships between ideas. We can do so by using correct grammar, by making sure that our pronouns clearly refer to some noun, and by assuring that the modifiers we use go clearly with the words that they modify.
They, together with my friends and with Jim, walks down the street.
The men grabbed their lunch boxes and went on their way with them in their hands.
The house was moved down Friend Street which was blue.
All three sentences above would cause the reader a good deal of distraction because he or she would have to stop to figure out what exactly the writer meant. In the first example the grammar has gone awry; in the second the reference for "they," "them," and "their" is unclear; in the third, the reader has to stop to figure out what was blue. The modifier, beginning with "which," is probably misplaced, for I assume the writer meant that the house, not Friend Street, was blue.
A reader faced with a misplaced modifier must imagine a meaning. A reader making up meaning is beyond the writer's control; one aim of writing certainly is to get control of the reader's mind for a moment or two. So the primary rule is this: don't let your reader make it up as he or she goes along.
A modifier is a word, phrase, or clause that limits or defines some word in a sentence.
He read the report carefully.
He read the report on papaya imports.
He read the report, which was poorly written.
In each sentence above, the underlined portion is a modifier. In the first, "carefully" is a single-word modifier referring to the verb "read." In the second, it is a prepositional phrase referring to the noun "report." In the third, it is a clause referring to the noun "report." If you wanted to get complicated, you'd say that the first modifier is an adverb, the second and third are adjectives. But why complicate?
Like pronouns, which must clearly refer to some noun, modifiers must refer clearly to some word. A modifier is misplaced if it gets too far from the word it is meant to refer to and seems to refer to some other word.
The report was read by Jim, which was poorly written.
"Which," in the example, has strayed too far from "report." Even though we know logically that Jim can't be a "which" and can't be "poorly written," the sentence seems awkward because of the misplaced modifier. The reader has to do too much work.
A modifier that has no possible single-word reference at all is said to be dangling.
Jim read, which was a problem for him with his poor eyes.
Though that sentence clearly has an idea, the "which" has nothing to refer to. As readers we can think it out, can say, "Of course, the writer means 'which' to stand for an unstated word--'reading.'" But "reading" is not in the sentence; thus, the modifier dangles.
==>Guidelines ==>Flow
==> Modifiers