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9.2 Reduce three clues to vagueness: intensifiers, qualifiers, and not

Vagueness of wording is frequently signaled by one of three weakeners:

  1. Intensifiers like very -- if your word has to be intensified into precision, you can probably find a more precise word. "Very hard" sometimes means "complex."
  2. Qualifiers like somewhat -- as above, if your word has to be qualified into meaning, you can probably find a more precise word. "Somewhat happy" may occasionally mean "satisfied."
  3. Not -- try to turn your idea to a positive and more precise statement. "Not difficult" frequently means "easy." Negative words other than "not" are often strong.


Examples

1. In particular, the people in the room who had not seen the screens before could not always keep up with the speed and change of the information flow presented.

Rewrite: In particular, the people in the room who had never seen the screens before sometimes lagged behind the information flow.

2. The ABC Form does not require any data entry.

Rewrite: The ABC Form requires no data entry.

3. At Acme Company, it was very important to be flexible and enthusiastic, especially when the tasks were mundane.

Rewrite: At Acme Company, it was essential to be flexible and enthusiastic, especially when the tasks were mundane.

4. Rental concessions are not common in the local area and only one property reports concessions at this time.

Rewrite: Rental concessions are unusual in the local area; only one property reports concessions.

5. In 1998, RapidGraph was not generating enough cash internally to fund its operations.

Rewrite: In 1998, RapidGraph was unable to fund its operations from internally generated cash.

6. The projections are a little overoptimistic if you assume same store sales, and consistent franchise fees.

Rewrite: The projections are optimistic if you assume same store sales and consistent franchise fees.

 

Courtesy of John Mercer Associates, www.MercerWriting.com

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