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10.2 Reduce your statements to those only of interest to the reader

Get rid of traditional statements; think only of the reader's needs. For example, traditional statements include the several introductory paragraphs which tell the reader where certain material appears in the work to follow. Do these do any more than a table of contents for the reader's understanding? If you think not, simply remove them.


Examples

1. We would appreciate the receipt of your payment. A stamped, self-addressed envelope is enclosed for your convenience.

Rewrite: Please send your payment in the enclosed envelope.

2. Section 1 is a general summary of our plans for the next five years. In Section 2, you will find the results of our survey of the entire membership during the year of 1998. Many of you will be pleased to read Section 3, which outlines our proposed program offerings for 1999. We are proud of the information in Section 4, which is our listing of sponsoring organizations for the just-completed fiscal period.

    Rewrite: CONTENTS
      Section 1: Summary of Five-year Plan
      Section 2: Results of 1998 Membership Survey
      Section 3: Proposed Program Offerings for 1999
      Section 4: 1998 Sponsors

 

Courtesy of John Mercer Associates, www.MercerWriting.com

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